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I am the daughter of an Internet troll

Gesundheit,

I have a confession to make. Being a member of a humungous Internet forum, and friend with one of the moderators of said forum, I know the devastation nasty trolls can have on an online community. And, yet, I spring from their loins. Spawn of the troll.

Yes, that's right, readeroonies. My father is a self confessed Internet troll. Sad, but true.

He has been known to peruse UFO forums, baiting and debating with UFOnthusiasts. Performing stunts such as, say, finding a copy of a photo free in the New York Public Library that another forum member had paid a couple of hundred dollars for on EBay.

Oh, yeah. I can imagine how much they love him over there.

Really, though, he's a top bloke, my dad. I must say that, because he is probably reading this. Heya, Red. He also fancies himself very much the prankster In Real Life. The following is a copy of a letter he sent to myself and my Man, and about thirty other random people, on April Fool's Day this year. Have a read.

Funny, no? And very fitting, considering the whole boatload invasion paranoia Australians seem to have going on at the moment (get a grip, people!). I was in on the game and knew it was coming.

The Man did not. And he hit the roof.

I ended up spilling the beans when he stormed, letter in hand, out our front door to go and show it to the coppers who live next door. Me: '"No, wait, Man!! It would all be terribly difficult to explain!"

*Ahem*.

So, anyone coming off Google Images was enticed by this image....

...just be warned. My dad is on Troll Patrol. Although I can guarantee that he, like me, is PhotoShop illiterate.