Super Sonic + Websites

The Recalcitrant FlyBaby

Shiny sinks,

There is little doubt in my mind that a lot of you, being the Net loving chickies (and dudes) that you are, have heard of HRH The FlyLady.

Yep, I attacked her with MS Paint. Even made her windows dirty. Ha!!

No? Where have you been? She has her own website. I'm going to apologise for her here- for a self-adorned 'Clutter Guru", her website is an absolute atrocity. Not to mention garish, difficult to navigate and enough to give a serial link-clicker like myself heart palpitations. If you are actually trying to find your way to FLYing, I suggest the Beginner BabySteps. Go shine your sink!! Now!! (Yes, really.)

FlyLady is, for the uninitiated, a completely insane and mildly obsessive compulsive woman from somewhere in the US's Deep South that has devised a whole system for keeping your house, car, kids and pets as spotlessly clean as possible. I kid you not.Right down to the tops of your door frames. Because, as any good pseudo 50's housewife knows, your house just is not clean until your door frames pass the white glove test. If you follow FlyLady to the feather letter, she even guarentees your relationship is strong, your bills are paid, your boobies are un-lumpy and that you drink 2 liters of water a day.

Now me personally,I have a Heart/Hate relationship with the FlyLady. She is omnipresent, it seems, and follows me around wherever I click- she has infiltrated both my FaceBook and Twitter accounts. Annoying. Especially when she tells me to go to bed at 2pm (oh, yes, FlyBabies have a mandated bedtime, and it doesn't run on EST.). I know, I should delete her. But my internal Martha Stewart just won't let me.

Reasons I {Heart} The FlyLady

* She got me going when it was just all too hard. And I was trying to figure out the complexities of running a house with a small baby and actually having top shower, cook, and acknowledge my husband's existence.(whaddya mean, it's been two months?)

* She has drummed into my head her FLY-isms. Like "It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done". Bloody good advice.

* She actually stops me over obsessing. If it's not finished, well, hell, it's cleaner than it was when I started. Unless the Chop is helping..

* There is a system for cleaning your house. Hallelujah!! Who woulda thunk it? Even if I don't do it, it's nice to know it's written down, and I can jump back in when I please. if I only I can find the notepad I wrote it in.

Reasons I {Hate} The FlyLady.

* Her website gives me a migraine.

*She sends out 20 emails a day. Not even joking.

* I just can't imagine it. The idea of actually being that organised is somewhat disconcerting.

* I cannot for the life of me get the Bloody House Blessing done every week. And that makes me feel bad. I call the feeling 'dust guilt'.

* She began to send me religious emails. I don't mind religion, and I don't mind house cleaning. But I don't like to mix the two.

* She makes me paranoid. Every time I turn on my clothes dryer, a purple haired woman with wings pops out from my shiny sink and starts screeching "Fire in the dryer!! Fire in the dryer!!".

* Her acronyms annoy me. And I'm normally big on acronyms (you may have picked that up). So I've renamed the SHE- from 'Sidetracked House Executive' to 'Shitty Housework Expert'. And my house is no longer in a state of CHAOS(Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome)- I like to call it a state of COMA (Come Over Mine Anyway).

By posting this, I live in fear. Of the FlyLady. And her meeelions of little FlyBaby followers tracking me down and beating me to death with Rubber Scrubbers. Please don't. I may just jump on the bandwagon again some day soon. Just as soon as this blogging addiction wears off. Because, right now, the computer rules. And if I did all my housework first I'd never get to blog. OK? OK.

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The Recalcitrant FlyBaby + Websites